halfway through december

Pumpkin is now at Calico and I LOVE IT! She hugs the teachers goodbye every evening. She comes home calmer and happier. It's a miracle! I am SO happy we got in there. Lord knows, I should have tried harder to get Bigs in there. Deprtment of DD would have helped me far earlier than me helping us alone.

Bigs had a "Holiday Shop" at school yesterday and he was so thrilled that we had to "gather together in the living room for gift-giving" after we got home. He kept saying how much he loves to give gifts. What a sweetie!! xoxoxo

Pumpkin is totally hooked on the Wii now. Crapola. And her father is UNABLE to teach her good sportsmanship. They go down to the basement to play and they are yelling and cursing and screaming and crying. it's ridiculous. I think I might lose the plug for the Wii or something. One good thing: they leave me a lone for 1-2 hours while they play! :)

Two words: "Amish Mafia". That is all.

reading online

A list of the most fascinating things I've read in a while.

http://www.snagglebox.com/2012/08/newsflash-there-are-no-autistic.html

http://mamabegood.blogspot.com/2012/11/autism-ethics-permission-to-say-no.html

http://adiaryofamom.wordpress.com/2012/12/10/how-to-make-the-world-a-better-place-by-jess/

http://momnos.blogspot.com/2010/03/on-being-hair-dryer-kid-in-toaster.html

http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2012/12/why-wouldnt-autism-parents-want-to.html

rainy thursday

Well, maybe not rainy, but gray and damp. Kids were in great moods this morning! Hopefully that lasts all day! I wonder how I will get them both to bed tonight without daddy home. I wish my bedroom didn't stink like stale dog. It needs freshened up!!! I should get my clothes out of there and put in some sachets or something to help with the smell. It's like a locker room! Gross!!

Well, this was a pointless post! :)

hit in the stomach every day

So, just found out that Bigs is getting a punch in the stomach from one of the latchkey kids everyday. I have no idea if he's egging this kid on or if the kid is just a punk who likes to hit the autistic kid. Pretty upset right now. Ugh!

And I really hate Kid's Country. The people there are miserable and never smile or have a nice thing to say. I can't wait to get Pumpkin into Calico.

hello there!

I have not written for a while. Well, I'm not a writer, really. Busy days, not enough time at night to enjoy life. Feeling blue.

Amanda is going to go to Calico! They have room for her. We visited and she seemed to really like it. I hope they do pre-kindergarten stuff. I need to ask the lady there about that. Probably the most important thing and I didn't ask. Dork.

Ben had a rough couple of weeks at school but is now getting into it a little better. When we walked into Latchkey this morning, one of the other kids said "Hi! Mr. Spear!" and Ben got all kinds of mad. Instantly went into defensive mode. Which made me feel bad because the other kid was just being silly, I think.

I told Ben and the two boys who were there that they should be friends since they see each other every morning and afternoon at Latchkey. I told them that Ben could use some friends. I hope that wasn't overstepping my boundaries. Ben was being very stubborn. Maybe these kids tease him all the time and this was more of the same. I will have to talk to Ben about it tonight. Maybe at bedtime when everything's quiet and calm.

Rob is going out of town with his friend Mike to a trade show for family entertainment stuff. I bet it will be pretty cool! Plus, they are going to Philadelphia! Love Philly!

I hope I can get Amanda to bed at night when Rob is gone. Maybe I can get her into a better routine and get her some sleep at night, She's so tired all day! And she has homework from Kid's Country now. That's crazy!

I need to try to write here a little each day, like a diary. I wonder if I can do it on the iPad. Probably lots of typos on that thing. We shall see. I want a new laptop!!

fat

OMG! I think I need to make an entry video for "The Biggest Loser". Maybe I'd win! :) Lifestyle changes are due after vacation, methinks.

Ben is being very emotional lately. I wonder what is bothering him. Are there bullies at Day Camp? Does he just feel frustrated at too many changes in the day? My poor baby. I wish I could get inside his head for a day.

blank

The only thing I have to write about right now is that the band "Social Distortion" is coming to the Cleveland House of Blues in October (just in time for my BFF's birthday!) and I can not WAIT to go.

shoe fail!

Big Boy is learning to tie his shoes. He has trouble with holding the first loop together while wrapping the other tie around to pull through. You know what I'm talking about. He says, "I'm a failure because I can't do this!" And then he won't try again due to said failure. This is even after much encouragement and telling him that tying shoes or not doesn't make anyone a failure. That he's a success in our eyes just because he's ours. Anyhow, I don't REALLY give a hoot if he ever ties shoes again after he learns how, but he needs to know how to tie a knot or a bow for many other things than shoes.

Once he masters it, I have a sweet pair of Velcro close Skechers waiting for him - because they will "make me go fast!"

ok - nice changes

I really have no idea how to actually USE blogger. After all, I am the only one who reads this trash! :)

Not much going on. Let's recap last week.

Wednesday, April 25, my dearest friend and I went out to "Dinner and a Cause" at Bricco restaurant in Akron benefiting the Autism Society of Ohio, Greater Akron Chapter. We had salads and pasta and pizza and it was great!!!

Saturday, April 28, we went to Pump It Up with the kids for another ASO event. So - 2p-4p jumping and jumping and sliding!! They had a ball!!! Later that night, we went to Peabody's in Cleveland to see the band Bowling For Soup. It was a lot of fun with some great folks! Got really drunk on Dortmunder Gold - than k you Great Lakes Brewing!

So, two days out of seven. not bad. :)

things to remember

Pumpkin at 3-1/2 is one heck of a natural looking soccer player. We were in the front yard kicking the ball back and forth yesterday evening. That kid just looks like such a jock!!! So cute with her little ponytail and determined look upon her face.

And Big, too! He played with us on Friday evening for a little while - anything to keeo him off the video games for a minute! He was doing some pretty good footwork with the ball. I didn't even know!!!

I guess Bigs doesn't like the soap at school. He is refusing to wash after going to the bathroom. They asked me to send him some soap, but I am not going to. He can rinse off and dry his hands. There's Purell, too, if he needs it.

Pumpkin is making guns out of Legos in school! I think it's fine, but with all the PC'ness and zero tolerance, she might get expelled from preschool - perhaps someone will call the cops on her. Ugh! (eyes rolling) We told her not to do it anymore and she happily reported yesterday that she didn't build any guns today.

Pumpkin and I went to the Root Beer Stand yesterday for dinner. It was great! She was very happy.

"I did all the work!"

Two weeks ago on the Sunday evening at the end of Spring Break, Bigs and I were having our bedtime sttories and such. I lay down with him for a minute or two after we read stories. It's a habit we've had for years. He's usually asleep in thirty seconds or so. Not so this Sunday. He was talking about his Latchkey supervisor, Miss M. To say that he loves her is a gigantic understatement. So he got a little sad and I told him we'd make arrangements to visit Miss M at his old school one day. He was quite sad and thought he'd never see her again. "She lives too far away for me to visit her." Poor guy, he doesn't get that distance is easily covered by this new fangled invention - the automobile.

He was sort of satisfied with the Miss M solution, but still a little weepy. Then he looks at me with his sweet little long face and says, "Why did they move me from Highland? I did all the work!" And proceeded to sob. As did I. I never felt so bad. The school and I had tried to be positive and to support him with this new program that is better than the others. Yet here is my boy, in pain, because he thought HE did something wrong. I reassured and held him fo ra long time that night.

So, yesterday, I finally told the school about this. Not the Miss M stuff, but the other. Here is an email I sent:

Hi, Ladies! How are you? I hope well. I hope you had a good Spring Break!

Something Ben told me on Sunday night before going back to school after break struck me as a little sad and I wasn't exactly sure how to reassure him.

He was crying in bed before lights out and he said, "Mom, why did they have to move me [from Highland]? I did all the work." And then he sobbed. He didn't say, "I want to go back!" or anything like that.

I am afraid he is feeling punished or that he was a bad kid at Highland.

I told him that at Riverview he has teachers that can help him have better days in school and isn't it great that he's been getting 2 happy faces a day?

I just wanted you to be aware in case he got really upset. There's something behind it. Maybe he won't ever say it, but somewhere inside he's thinking it. And it can manifest in many, many ways! (as we all know). Thanks for your time and listening to my worries!

Here are their responses - I have to say - I am VERY VERY pleased with this school system at this moment:

#1 - Hi Kris,  I forwarded your email to [school psychologist] and our behavior consultant.

Poor little guy - we will make sure we get this addressed in social skills group and [psych] may want to pull him out for some one on one time

with her.   Please keep me posted and I will do the same.

#2 - Hi there - We addressed this in social skills group today.  We did a lesson on feeling good about yourself.  We talked about what we like about ourself, etc.  Then, we directly addressed Ben's situation and talked about why he left Highland and came to Riverview.  During group, he didn't verbalize that he was upset about it, but did come over for a few hugs while we were talking about it.  I think it went over well, because one of the boys in the group told Ben that he came to Riverview to be friends with him.  I hope it made him feel a bit better!

#3 - Sure thing!  Ben came in to our group pretty grumpy today and we thought we were going to have a rough time.  One of the boys really made an effort to cheer him up, making faces at him and telling him jokes.  They ended up having a really good time telling knock knock jokes to each other (that were not funny in the slightest....ha!), and finally Ben said, "Alright, alright, I'm fine."  The three boys ended up holding hands at the end, which just cracked us up.

my day

Here was my day yesterday. I was very angry for not having any help, but then thought - so what? I can do it - it'll be done the way I like it and no one's in the way! :)

6:40 am - get up and pull on my jeans and hop in the car to go pick up Bigs from his "first daddy".
6:50 am  - Dunkin' Donuts... Mmm...
7:00 am - Morning Joe on MSNBC - the only half-watchable show on MSNBC.
7:30 am - try to get on shoes, coats, book bags, lunches, etc.
7:47 am - leave first - we beat Pumpkin down the driveway (she's with daddy)
7:59 am - drop Bigs at before care.
8:04 am - drive to work
8:25 am - go to work
11:35 am - go to Applebee's and pickup lunch for the guys. (Boss's baseball fundraiser)
3:45 pm - leave work to go to the hospital for Bigs's OT session. He's in a rare form. He wants to stay with me today although it is his daddy's day and he'd usually rather be there... hmmm...
5:25 pm - leave the hospital to go to Grandma's house to wait for daddy.
6:10 pm - daddy finally rolls in.
6:30 pm - go to Applebee's for dinner with G, G, Pumpkin and Robert. Nice dinner. Ate too much!!
8:15 pm - get home.
8:30 pm - do the dishes.
9:00 pm - fold the laundry
9:30 pm - sweep the living room - meanwhile the unhelpful one comes into see what's up. (ass)
9:40 pm - TRY to put Pumpkin to bed. She's all kids of riled up.
10:30 pm - tell her to GTF to sleep!! Leave the room!!

Ahhh... all done. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

something i want big boy to see...

Autistic Hoya: Autistic Empowerment: The Civil Rights Model

what's new? nuthin'

Since no one sees this blog but me, I think I just need to write down this week's activities.

Sunday, 3/25 - cleaned! Mostly Big's room so i can build his new desk. Rob was going to help me, but decided to "fix" the water softener instead. Which was a fiasco. Thank you very much! So no help for me with the desk. Thanks, honey! My shit gets dismissed. Whatever.

Monday, 3/26 - You know, why is Rob never home? I think it's 'cause he drives me nuts and all I do is nag at him. Ugh! He bugs me! Sorry - water softener man!

Tuesday, 3/27 - my poor Big Boy ran into another kid at recess and CRACK! has a big ol' black eye. The dang school nurse said she thought it should be X-Rayed, so I bring him to Children's ER. They look at him and discharge us - no X-Ray - but $200.00 vanishes in a FLASH! I shoulda just put ice on it. Fushing school system just cost me MORE money...

Wednesday, 3/28... that would be now... working, no problem. Bigs is at school looking like a boxer! :)

blah

nothing to see here...

1. We have to GET OUT of Afghanistan. ASAP. These guys are losing their minds!! Bring our boys HOME!!!! NOW!!!!!

2. I hate being late to work. Big Boy almost missed his bus at Kids-Play. Pumpkin was a really good girl when I dropped her off!

3. I have to sign Amanda up for more Kindercise at the dance studio. I think she liked it. Maybe not. Maybe I should try soccer next.

chardon high school

My prayers and love to the city of Chardon and all the kids that had to go through that tragedy yesterday. Especially to the families of the victims and the family of the shooter. God, shine your grace on these people and take care of them. In the name of your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

(it's hard to type and pray at the same time!)

classroom move - #2

Big Boy did great! My little boy has a better grip on this thing called life than I give him credit for. I think I do that with my kids. They are way more able than I think. I guess I have to let go a little bit. I certainly need to watch my language better. I think Pumkin has taken to using bad words at school. "Crap" is her favorite! And "Rats!" And "Poop". Great. I have Eric Cartman for a little girl-child.

Oh, crap.

classroom move

Went to see the new school and classroom yesterday. Rob came with, thank goodness! The program is apparently quite successful at making the kids independent students. The kids then have a support person (and system) throughout the rest of school. I'm proud of my Alma mater for making sure they do a good job at this. It's not like they are taking him from his current class because he is a problem child. They really want to give him the tools to get by. 4 months at Riverview, next two years at Fishcreek, then on to Middle and High School. It's gonna go too fast!!

I worry about the actual move - how do we tell Bigs? What if he takes it badly? I have to talk to the Special Services Supervisor to see what she says. I can't leave it up to the school, although this is their gig. I wouldn't have moved him. I wish I had started him in the developmental preschool. But I was in the wrong city then. Things might be different now. Can't dwell on that, though!

Another problem is that there's no latchkey program at this school. Bigs will miss Megan. She absolutely loves him and vice versa. So that's going to be hard. I wish I could take him to Highland for latchkey - get him on a bus to Riverview, then back to Highland after school. Ugh. Really - I can't be any later to work, so we might have to take him to a day care or something. The school suggested Kids Play on Kent Road. I hear they are expensive. I better call.

I wonder what the folks at Highland think of all this. I think I need to talk to Mrs. Z & Mrs. G. Maybe even Mrs. D. He is going to miss them something awful. I just have to make sure that Bigs knows this is a good thing and he doesn't think it's because he's bad or difficult. He'll make new friends (possibly real ones!!) and forge new bonds with the teachers and principal at Riverview.

move class

So the director of spec ed services wants to move Bigs to a "Behavior Support Classroom". What does that mean? I really don't want to separate him more from his class mates. Shit. They are going to take me to visit while class is in session one day. I don't even know if it's at the same school building. I'm really worried. I'm going to have to have Jim come with I think. He finally needs to realize that Bigs needs support.

I think the teacher can't handle Bigs's behavior. I think she thinks he's just bad, but doesn't get to the bottom of it. His behavior is the manifest of some sensory or transitional barrier that HE CAN'T GET AROUND. It's not that he doesn't want to - he CAN'T!!!!! Ugh!

I am very upset about this and I just want to go watch class one day unbeknownst to anyone. Shit.

this is nutty

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/20/health/research/new-autism-definition-would-exclude-many-study-suggests.html

Changing the DSM (updating, whatever) definition of autism spectrum disorders may exclude a ton of people from the diagnosis. This could be bad.

hard time

Big boy had a hard time at school yesterday. He refused to finish his math paper and did really poorly on the math fluency test. I don't know if he doesn't know the answers or if the amount of problems was overwhelming to him. I told him he can't give up if something is hard to do. He has to keep at it. But how do I know when his senses are giving him problems?? Ugh! I wish I could just watch him at school for a few days. I bet my heart will break.

"gimme pig bit me!"

Pumpkin got bit by a friend's guinea pig last night. She looked like she had ax-murdered someone. Deep cut - I think it went all the way to the bone. At first, I thought her finger was broken. This morning, she says it doesn't hurt, so hopefully it's okay. Bigs got REALLY upset about it, but he calmed himself down. He walked around in circles saying that he saw a spot of red (blood) on the wall and that the guinea pig bit his sister. But the walking helped ease his upset. The energy in the house spiked when Pumpkin got hurt and I know Bigs felt it. I feel worse for him than for her! My heart actually aches. Bullshit that autistics don't have empathy. That was ALL empathy last night.

I called day care and told them to keep an eye on Pumpkin's finger. I hope it didn't need stitches. I couldn't really take her to the ER last night.

Also, Rob got a memory foam mattress topper and it sucks. That is my first impression.

bored

I am just sitting here at work with nothing to do. Boring. All the trucks are here. Stupid carriers.

hi, monday, you bit*h

I feel like staying home in bed!

change the name?

I think I will remove the 2011 and leave the name. Start over for 2012. I wrote a few entries in 2011. I like it! I suppose I should write at home at night. Now with the iPad, I may do just that. Love that thing!!

Happy New Year!